COMMENTS

MYTH:

Daniela p.7: I loved it! I can relate in so many ways. It was long, but it made me want to read more. I would say indentation is really important; and it's something you don’t have! Overall I loved it. 

Anna Maria p.7: I really liked it. It was different because it was about revenge. I've seen other myths, and their main character is usually like a passive victim. I would say space your paragraphs out more, because they are all together. You should also indent.

Sammy p.7: I liked how his name is very simple; very ordinary. He sounds like the all-American boy who has a good heart but isn't so good at school. I also like how he starts out being just another kid, and turns out to be a monster. I would say add some more events and info about how and why he turns into a monster.

Mine: Liked it. Could use more details; more events. Explains very well who the character is, her thoughts and emotions.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT:

Alejandro Samper p.3: LIKES: You can get a feel that she is a wholesome Californian native. (EX: blonde hair, surfs ect.) You can tell even though she's the best surfer her age she doesn't let the fame go to her head.

IMPROVE: More detail. want to know more!!!

Mariana p.3: LIKES: Your title caught me eye instantly; it was simple but had a powerful message. She sounds like more of a victim type of character; very passive.

IMPROVEMENTS: Don't start a sentence with and or use the following: And she says . . . Use quotations also.

Camila p.3:  LIKES: Your character started out ugly. Instead of a beautiful girl who is picked on because the others are jealous. I also liked how it was spiritual and religious. EX: GOD, Virgin May
IMPROVEMENTS: Make it have a little more wow factor to it. Maybe like something surprising.

MINE: Very well done. Easy to read, well presented. Maybe some more detail.

PARAGRAPHS:

Tomas Urrutia p.1: LIKES: Your character started out ugly. Instead of a beautiful girl who is picked on because the others are jealous. I also liked how it was spiritual and religious. EX: GOD, Virgin May
IMPROVEMENTS: Make it have a little more wow factor to it. Maybe like something surprising.

Juliana p.3: LOVED YOUR STORY! Indent prettier and double-space them out girl.  

Sam p.3: I like the way you use quotations in your myth :) great story!

MINE: BEAUTIFUL PARAGRAPHS SOPHIE!!!